In The Name Of The Holy Swine - The Hysteria..

Mood: Sarcastic, Analytical

Song: Wake Me Up When September Ends!!

Pandemics are nothing new in a world, which has lost nearly 10% of its population in the 1918 Influenza (Spanish flu) outbreak, and 25% of the the 14th century population during Europe’s ‘Great Death'. Back home, the seven Cholera Pandemics, most originating from The Ganges Kumbh Melas have killed millions. The ‘Third Pandemic of Plague’, the Pandemics of Small Pox, Syphilis, the epidemics of Measles, Malaria, Dengue, etc have all wreaked havoc at will. Binding factors in all these cases have been the high mortality rates of 10-20%+ and the lack of any medication.

In the past few years, the WHO has issued warnings for SARS, H5N1 (Bird Flu) and now the Swine Flu. The WHO simply follows a template in each case stating that there may be 150mn deaths in the next five years, in the worst condition. The world media which was waiting with bated breath for some news other than Obama or Osama, laps it up conveniently skipping the 'worst condition'. Govts are forced to act more so for the media than the actual situation. While some countries efficiently follow the protocols of prevention of a contagious disease and contain the disease, it gets funny when it comes to countries like India. We cull a million poultry only to discover later they were not infected with H5N1 in the first place! At the Mumbai airport, we have a single sweet screening question, “Are you suffering from cold or cough?” For the record, even we have these airport checks, just like they have in other countries.

What is more shocking is that, while Bird Flu mania was gripping India, with zillions of chicks being put to sleep (ahem..ahem..) and advisories against non-veg food in full gusto, at exactly the same time, there were 1400 child deaths with a fatality rate of 25% within four months in Uttar Pradesh. The media could not care less. Prime TV-viewing cities Mumbai, Delhi had nothing to do with this. And more importantly, no American importance had been attached to this. The western world was least interested in these ‘inconsequential’ Indian deaths, albeit it outnumbered the entire fatality count of Bird Flu. Our print and digital media often blindly carry forward the sensationalization from the western world, even though it might not be justified here, leading to paranoia and hysteria.

Aah, Swine Flu now! It’s actually been in existence for decades now. The current variant has been named by WHO under the H1N1 strain so as to distinguish it from the original virus. But for the media, ‘Swine Flu’ sounds a lot cooler than ‘H1N1’. (Note: I will use ‘Swine Flu’ here for the same reason) India has been a very late target for the virus. No, it is not because God is biased towards us Indians, but because viruses can not thrive in hot temperatures. Our summers are a natural repellent for all kinds of flu. This also explains why North India is even today virtually isolated from the country in catching this flu. Probably by September end, this ‘pandemic’ will disappear for a while. Good for you and others, but bad for the entrepreneur in me who was planning to sell the Rs.5 mask for Rs.100 tomorrow. On another note, more over N95! The new N97 is here, and it is proven to keep Swine Flu at bay if you promise to lock yourself up in a room for 5 days with one of its kind.

Most of the deadly pandemics have been of first-time discovered diseases which were unique in nature. Plague was as different from Cholera as Shoaib Akhtar is from Britney Spears (Eeeks). Whereas H1N1/H5N1 are just forms of normal influenzawhich gets cured on its own. H1N1 is completely curable with Tamiflu/Relenza and often no medication is needed. In fact, of the 800 people who have been infected in India till now, 600+ are cured completely and are currently selling their stories to media houses and reality shows as you read this. For all the recent madness in Pune, if you were to be born a Thousand times with Swine flu, you will die 7 times from H1N1. In comparison, you will die 293 times from Heart Ailments, 64 times from accidents, 48 times from AIDS, 15 times by suicide and so on. So as of now I just sit and wonder why the world is so obsessed with Swine Flu rather than malaria which has killed 175 times more people this year.

The WHO has predicted 33% Indians will be affected in the next 2 years. Not improbable. But vaccinations are on the way. Besides the human body adapts quickly to viruses in the air. Apparently, we breathe-in an insane lot of viruses, but the human body has grown used to it over a period of time. This is purely nature’s way of maintaining equilibrium. Crap..This Small Pox virus guy just entered through my left nostril.

Going back to the WHO, the worst case scenarios in their warnings are likely only when the virus mutates and also stops responding to all antibiotics. Even so, it can change to either a more dangerous variant or a totally safer variant. The chances of it mutating into a mass-killer as it is made out to be are as ‘strong’ as a lizard suddenly mutating into a Godzilla from Japan’s nuclear waste. So if you are afraid of dying in a Swine Flu pandemic, my Logical Reasoning argues that you should also be equally afraid of encountering a Godzilla on the way back home! (Ok..Sometimes my Libran Logic can go haywire)

Btw why can’t we simply install ourselves with an anti-virus and keep downloading updates every time a new virus goes on a rampage. I tell you, these medical research guys are way too slow compared to our techies at Symantec :|

Quick Note: Being stuck in pandemic-frenzied Pune, I will avoid crowded places, follow guidelines, etc. But not with the fear of desperately wanting to save my life from a dangerous, incurable illness, but to protect myself from an irritating bout of yet another variant of normal influenza.